The Witch at the Bagel Place

Every Saturday morning Mom and her friend either go to the hotel or to a local deli for breakfast. This time they opted for the hotel, so afterward Mom saw the movie Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire with me. It was a tearjerker. Mariah Carey plays a social worker who helps out an overweight teenage girl named Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) at an alternative school in 1980s Harlem.

The film's heroine suffers physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her welfare abusing mother who resents her and accuses her of "taking (her) man" because the girl's father raped their daughter instead of having sex with her. The sexual abuse results in the teen giving birth to two children with her own father. Precious's mother is completely oblivious to the fact that she herself allowed her daughter to be molested. When the movie hits cable, it will be perfect game for a Mothers From Hell marathon on any given movie channel along with a showing of Carrie.

I ordered a small popcorn and an iced tea to sustain me through the two hour film. And what do you know? The former medium size is now a small. Apparently, people must have complained that they were getting ripped off because the former small was more like kiddie size. It wasn't any cheaper though. I paid nine and a quarter for a small popcorn and a drink. As a kid, I remember when Mom paid three bucks each for mine and my brother's movie tickets for The Karate Kid, which they are remaking with Will Smith's son as the star.

After the movie, Mom and I had a late lunch at Bagel Boss. They have the freshest nova lox of any bagel place on Long Island. Mom didn't mind going there because she was at the hotel for breakfast. People were zigzagged on line which didn't help the workers who tried to figure out who was next. The guy came over to serve me, and I had no clue who was next.


And then a lady blasted, "We were next. You cut us off." I didn't see her! She could have said, "Excuse me, we were next," to the clerk. No need to yell at me.

"I didn't see you. No need to be bitchy!" I snapped back. She ignored me. I looked over at Mom and we both rolled our eyes.

This bitch was the typical pushy shrew I've encountered on line at Bloomingdales. One confrontation with someone like her and I'll be shopping online for five months. And wouldn't you know she waved her big ass wedding ring as she yapped away with her friend. The woman's complexion was super pale. She must have had pounds of foundation. Her jet black hair was cut into a bob that didn't match her bone structure. She wore tinted shades and a short brown fur coat.

Actress Pamela Anderson is a radical anti-fur activist known for having refused to board an elevator with a woman who wore a mink. I kept wishing at that moment that the former "Baywatch" beauty and Playboy Playmate were in line with us. She would slap this cow's uppity ass with silicone. May this rude bitch walk the streets of Manhattan wearing that fur and feel a pound of red paint slap her back. Seriously, she can suck it.